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Do you order your lunch online?

Thanks to the broadband revolution in Pakistan, ordering food online has become the most convenient way. It has removed the torturous ritual of explaining your order by phone, or a risk of misunderstanding by the person to whom you want to place an order. 

14th Street Pizza (as far as I know) was perhaps the pioneer in providing customers an option of ordering food online. For me, it is really convenient to select all the toppings and flavor of the pizza online rather than a person telling me about all the options on the phone.

Foodpanda is the most famous online food ordering platform in Pakistan. They even offer a designated application on various smartphone platforms, leading to simplification of the whole ordering process. The company ensures that latest menus are also uploaded on their website (and the app) so that you can easily choose what you want to eat.

Foortal is another online website that offers you services similar to Foodpanda, but they do not update the menus of many restaurants periodically.  Furthermore, they do not even have many restaurants on their panel compared to the reigning giant.

Urbanite is also making its name in the online food ordering websites. I found the interface of Urbanite the best compared to Food Panda and Foortal. Currently, the website has more than 100 restaurants on its panel and charges reasonable amount for delivery. 

This revolution for me is very exciting. Especially since I don't really love spending my credit on ordering food and would rather just do it with a few clicks of my mouse.

However, if restaurants themselves start offering online order services, it will be more convenient for everyone. Just imagine not going through the hassle of telling someone from Subway what vegetables you want in your sub and just selecting them from an online menu! :D 


So when was the last time you ordered food online? Share your experience! 

5 Signs You Are in 'Potty Love'


This blogpost will probably not make sense to you. It's okay. I urge you to still keep reading it. What have you got to lose? (Ans:10 minutes of your life and a few hundred brain cells)

Potty Love. What exactly does this term mean? Let me explain.

Potty Love is one of the levels of affection that you hold for a certain special person. It is the highest form of love I have discovered but of course, that's just me. Love is different for everyone. 

Anyways, to find out whether you are suffering from the insufferable plague of 'Potty Love', check if any of the below signs apply to you.

1. You Will Think About That One Person Every Time You Are In The Crapper

I don't know how people spend their time while pooping. I, personally, either play Candy Crush, check my emails or tweet. Multitasking y'know. But if you are in Potty Love, you will definitely think of that ONE SPECIAL person at least once while pooping.

Either as you enter the loo, are sitting on the pot, are defecating or are done defecating, somewhere in there, for a second, amidst thoughts of relieving yourself, you will think about them.


2. You Are Okay With The Fact That They Also Defecate

Most of the times, we place our object of affection high on a pedestal. They are perfection personified. They are worthy of worship. They are almost superhuman to us. 

That's where everything goes wrong. For a relationshit to be balanced, you need to accept that your partner is also a human. And like all humans, your partner has a normal digestive system.

And what did we learn in grade 8 biology kids? That the final process in digestion is 'defecation' otherwise known as pooping. Or shitting. Whatever you prefer.

If you have ever thought that somewhere in the future, you will have to come to terms with that person's poop, farts or even burps, you're on the track towards 'Potty Love'.

3. Thinking About Them Pauses Your Excretory Processes

We have all been in that situation. You need to go to the loo, but can't. It's either occupied or you're on a road trip or you're on stage in the middle of a performance and don't want to pull a Fergie on the audience.

You might not know but thinking about sex can help you stop your pee. (This works with poop also.)

And obviously, if you're using fantasies of a particular someone to pause-the-poop, there's something special there. 


4. You Choose Them Over Solitary Poop-Tiem

Poop time is sacred. Not many people understand this though. 

This is the time when you are most honest with yourself. You have the ultimate hard earned 10 minute bliss of solitude that no one can take away from you.

Except of course, if you choose to willingly hand over that bliss to your object of affection by texting them while pooping.

Now why in the world would you ruin the sanctity of the crapper? You know why. Because you're in 'Potty Love'.


5. You Share Your Bathroom Wisdom With Them

I've already stressed on the importance of solitary poop-tiem. This is the time when you are alone with yourself, with no one to judge you. Your best and most crazy thoughts and ideas will strike you during poop tiem. Most of those are supposed to be kept secret from the rest of the world.

It takes an enormous amount of trust to be able to tell someone your innermost theories and plans to take over the world.

So when you start sharing your bathroom wisdom with that someone special, sorry buddy, you better accept that you're in Potty Love. 

___________________________________________

Disclaimer: The writer has no idea what she has written and takes no responsibility for the loss of your brain cells while reading this post.

This post is dedicated to @TheTattiMaster

Being Sick

Stage 1: OMG. I'm going to get a free vacation. I sure did need a break.

Stage 2: Alright, this hurts too much. I wish I was back at work and not sick.

Stage 3: Please. Make it stop. Make the pain stop. Kill me. Give me painkillers. I need to eat. No no. If I eat I'll throw up. Oh God help.

Stage 4: These painkillers have made me drowsy. Why is there so much sadness in the world? What is the meaning of life? Why do humans kill and harm each other? No one cares about me. I need my friends. No. I don't need anyone. Oh God I wish I was dead.

Stage 5: The only physical exercise I'm doing these days is turning around in my bed. Left. Right. Left again. No, right. I feel worthless. Please someone take me out. I wish I had something to keep myself busy. Why won't anyone take me out of this house?!

Stage 6: Time to go to the creepy part of the internet with me and my thoughts. Reddit, 4chan, YouTube, here I come.

The Top Five Winter Looks

Winter is about to come and it’s time to say good-bye to all summer clothes. Pack your short shirts and loose pants and gather your leather jackets and long boots. Winter has its own charm and you can have versatile looks in this season.

-        Do not forget to wear your long boots. It can be annoying at times but once you get used to of it, you will start loving it. Long boots always look cool. It helps you look calm on one hand and on the other hand, you look formal and hot!!

-          If you want to look bold and hot apart from looking formal, go for some leather jackets. Leather jackets are something you can wear at any time. Whether it is a party at your friend’s house or an office meeting, you can look formal with a leather jacket on your shirt. Usually black leather jackets are preferred in comparison to other colors as black is something everyone dies for.
 
-       If you want to be a cutie pie, then yes you can, it’s not a big deal. Go for a soft pink colored jacket with a skinny jeans and a light colored muffler. People will definitely call you sweetie. Yes, a high pony tail with a fringe or an emo-cut will also look great in this look.

-      If you do not want to adopt the tradition of wearing leather jackets along with long boots then it’s great. Make your own style and follow your own trend. Yes, you can have a unique look and stand out of the crowd. Design your own jacket, go for a multi colored muffler, a cross bag and a long skirt. Opt for colors you love most and show your creativity in your look.

-    If you are brand conscious then go for branded jeans, jackets and mufflers. You can opt for a rugged collection or for some formals. If you want to look young, buy a shirt with stripes or check, a cool-looking jeans and a dark colored jacket. Yes, this will surely let you look funky and cool.

Try the above stated top five winter looks and share your views & suggestions.



Monochrome

Image Source : http://bit.ly/1aBnejJ


Black and White.
Shades of Grey.
Silent tip toes,
In the games we play.

Clear lines,
Blur for some.
Shadows make the vision murky
Obscuring the sun.

My black, your white.
Your dark, my light.

Craft a dance,
Walk on these lines,
Until we tire.
And then we retire.

My black, my white,
Your dark, your light.
Separate lights.
Separate lines.
Separate lives.

_________________________________________________

Inspired by Arsalan M. Khan's Tweet

Top 5 Topis

Topis are a universal truth that no one can live without. Whether you are a student or working somewhere, making false excuses is inherent part of personality trait. I see topis not less a superhero; need to bail on friends to catch up on sleep? Topi to the rescue! I came across a hilarious blog called topi101, which lists many popular excuses; the top 5 are listed below.

Tabiyat Kharab Hai

Although we are a middle income country according to the United Nations, we all fall ill so regularly that even Ethiopians would have pity on us. From corporate employees to maids working at various homes, we are a nation of liars (me included) who are severely ill one day and next day at work are completely fine. It seems like we have some ‘sleeping disease’ within us, which infects us mostly on Monday and by night goes back to the dormant state.

Internet Nai Chal Raha

In my student life, whenever we had a deadline for an assignment or project, there was at least one person in the group (mostly who never liked to work) whose internet suddenly use to stop work as soon as a task was assigned to him or her. Miraculously, the next day, internet used to work just fine. I honestly use to think there was some, “bahruni haath ya hadoodiun ki saadish” which never wanted them to work.

Gari Kharab Hogai

Our students are never at fault for getting late to class, it is their car, possessed by a ghost, which ensures that they never reach on time. This topi is as old as the existence of cars and has helped many students covering their oversleeping habits. The irony is, even if in reality someone’s car breaks down, no one now believes it really happened. 

Yaar Ammi Mana Kar Rahi Hain

As a nation we love our mothers to bits, we are so innocent that we never disobey them, especially if it involves bailing on a plan, which we never want to go to in first place. If the last topi is in existence since the development of cars, this one is there since the dawn of mankind. Whenever we are being lazy for going to a plan or have to go to another plan secretly, our mothers jump in to action to save the day.

Bas Paanch Minute

Clocks in Pakistan seem to run at different pace compared to the rest of the world. Women like to lure men to a mall or standalone stores for shopping by saying, “Bas paanch minute ka kaam hai”. These 5 minutes are equivalent to half an hour to an hour of normal world timing (I am talking from experience). If you confront them over the deceit, they fail to acknowledge the additional time they took by innocently saying, “Paanch minute hey tu ziadah liye they”. There should be a time converter, which can accurately predict the time a woman will spend.

I agree with topi101, when the blogger says “Kyun ke Topi tu tum bhi ho. Topi tu mein bhi hon!” No matter how much we hate topis, we cannot deny we are an integral part of the topi culture.


What is your favourite Topi of all time? Let me know in the comments!

Soap

Five times a day, he had heard.
Wash them five times a day.

His hands trembled as he reached out for the soap.
Religiously, he would follow the regime. 
The process. The method. On time. Every time.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat. 

He would wash his hands of dirt. And muck. And all those disgusting little bacteria that would keep crawling on his skin. All the time.

He let the warm water flow through his frail fingers.

So dirty.

"They make me so dirty". He would think every time he would wash his hands. All of them. They are responsible for this dirt on my hands.

They would always make the mess. And he would always clean it up. On time. Every time.

Lather, Rinse, Repeat.


Creative Chaos CTO Receives Award for Inventing a Mass Transit Touch and Pay Solution

Umair Aziz - Chief Technology and Innovation Officer of Creative Chaos, a leading technology consultancy, recently received the 1st Federation of Pakistan Chambers of Commerce and Industry (FPCCI) Achievement Award for inventing and developing a state of the art NFC (near field communication) based fare collection system for mass-transit.

Dr. Abdul Qadeer Khan, in the presence of distinguished business leaders, presented the medal to Mr. Aziz at a ceremony held in Karachi.

The system is called bPass and is currently being piloted in Kuwait, Jordan & Sharjah.

The Federation of Pakistan Chambers of Commerce & Industries (FPCCI) is the apex body of trade and industry of Pakistan. FPCCI servers as the bridge between the Government and the Private Sector and its membership covers 48 Chambers and 96 Associations. 

The FPCCI achievement awards recognize and honor the dedicated individuals and enterprises of Pakistani origin that have made sustained and lasting contribution at the in economic and socio-economic development of the Country and helped build its image and thus rendered all Pakistanis proud.




Rainbow

I was standing in the shower and the sunlight was streaming in through my bathroom window. The water from my shower created tiny rainbows in front of my eyes.

They disappeared when I turned the water off. They were only real to me, for that short period of time.

They were still beautiful though.

The After 3.00 A.M. Post

Between periods of charged emotions and jaded indifference I really don't have time to be a normal person with normal feelings. But then again, who's to decide what's normal?

Let's just say for the sake of my commentary here that 'normal' is the state where your brain does not feel like it's in a constant frenzy of emotions.

Or that normal means being able to relate to the majority of the people in a society.

Yes, that sounds good. So now that we have that established let's get back to discussing me. Because obviously, this is my blog. And we will be talking about me. If you're not interested in reading about me, you really shouldn't be here.

Here's a picture of a cat with purple eyes as an apology if you landed here accidentally.


 Okay so where was I? Yes, being normal. Which I'm not. Esha Saiyyed gets that very well. (Thank you Esha, for understanding and responding to my weirdest comments.)

But then GUYS. Omg. GUISE. Guys. HEY. HEY GUYS. Listen. So I was saying. GUYS.

I was saying I found this one guy who makes me feel normal. Like, not even kidding. Allah mian ka wada.

He treats me like I'm a normal person. I don't know why he does that. Just completely ignores my self derogatory humour and my self esteem issues. He just does not acknowledge that I have any issues at all.

Don't get me wrong, he isn't delusional. He does tell me where I'm wrong and wants me to be a better person and all that shit. But he doesn't let me wallow in the petty self created troubles that my brain likes to conjure up to screw my life over even more.

So when he does that. When he pretends I'm capable of being mentally and emotionally stable guess what happens?

Yes, Einstein, that's correct. I actually feel mentally and emotionally stable.

What the kewl boyz he is.

Acha bas, I have to get back to work now.

Reasons Why You Should Have a Blog

You. Yes, you. Do you own a blog? No? Why not?

I mean, seriously. You don't need to be a novelist to become a blogger. You just need a decent sense of grammar and vocab and of course, opinions.

If you're on other social networking websites such as Twitter and Facebook, and you use them to interact with other people you're already blogging. Well, micro blogging that is. Why not build on that and actually try pushing out slightly longer pieces of opinions on the internet?

Of course, I wouldn't be asking you to waste your time on something that wouldn't have any incentives.

More and more brands in Pakistan are looking towards Digital Media for advertising and they need good bloggers to help them infiltrate the interwebz. In return they offer freebies and special event invites.

If you're good enough, your hobby might just turn into landing you some ka-ching! You see, freelance content writing in Pakistan right now pays anything from $1- $80 per 500 words.

Bloggers are even getting discounts now. But that's only just started out. The only place I know of in Karachi is Biryani of the Seas which offers a discount to bloggers.

Lastly, I think there is no better way to express yourself than to vomit it out in a blog post. It makes you feel better and documents your opinions and responses further helping you grow as a person.



 




I write like
Dan Brown

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