Top 5 Topis

Topis are a universal truth that no one can live without. Whether you are a student or working somewhere, making false excuses is inherent part of personality trait. I see topis not less a superhero; need to bail on friends to catch up on sleep? Topi to the rescue! I came across a hilarious blog called topi101, which lists many popular excuses; the top 5 are listed below.

Tabiyat Kharab Hai

Although we are a middle income country according to the United Nations, we all fall ill so regularly that even Ethiopians would have pity on us. From corporate employees to maids working at various homes, we are a nation of liars (me included) who are severely ill one day and next day at work are completely fine. It seems like we have some ‘sleeping disease’ within us, which infects us mostly on Monday and by night goes back to the dormant state.

Internet Nai Chal Raha

In my student life, whenever we had a deadline for an assignment or project, there was at least one person in the group (mostly who never liked to work) whose internet suddenly use to stop work as soon as a task was assigned to him or her. Miraculously, the next day, internet used to work just fine. I honestly use to think there was some, “bahruni haath ya hadoodiun ki saadish” which never wanted them to work.

Gari Kharab Hogai

Our students are never at fault for getting late to class, it is their car, possessed by a ghost, which ensures that they never reach on time. This topi is as old as the existence of cars and has helped many students covering their oversleeping habits. The irony is, even if in reality someone’s car breaks down, no one now believes it really happened. 

Yaar Ammi Mana Kar Rahi Hain

As a nation we love our mothers to bits, we are so innocent that we never disobey them, especially if it involves bailing on a plan, which we never want to go to in first place. If the last topi is in existence since the development of cars, this one is there since the dawn of mankind. Whenever we are being lazy for going to a plan or have to go to another plan secretly, our mothers jump in to action to save the day.

Bas Paanch Minute

Clocks in Pakistan seem to run at different pace compared to the rest of the world. Women like to lure men to a mall or standalone stores for shopping by saying, “Bas paanch minute ka kaam hai”. These 5 minutes are equivalent to half an hour to an hour of normal world timing (I am talking from experience). If you confront them over the deceit, they fail to acknowledge the additional time they took by innocently saying, “Paanch minute hey tu ziadah liye they”. There should be a time converter, which can accurately predict the time a woman will spend.

I agree with topi101, when the blogger says “Kyun ke Topi tu tum bhi ho. Topi tu mein bhi hon!” No matter how much we hate topis, we cannot deny we are an integral part of the topi culture.

What is your favourite Topi of all time? Let me know in the comments!