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5 Signs You Are in 'Potty Love'

This blogpost will probably not make sense to you. It's okay. I urge you to still keep reading it. What have you got to lose? (Ans:10 minutes of your life and a few hundred brain cells)

Potty Love. What exactly does this term mean? Let me explain.

Potty Love is one of the levels of affection that you hold for a certain special person. It is the highest form of love I have discovered but of course, that's just me. Love is different for everyone. 

Anyways, to find out whether you are suffering from the insufferable plague of 'Potty Love', check if any of the below signs apply to you.

1. You Will Think About That One Person Every Time You Are In The Crapper

I don't know how people spend their time while pooping. I, personally, either play Candy Crush, check my emails or tweet. Multitasking y'know. But if you are in Potty Love, you will definitely think of that ONE SPECIAL person at least once while pooping.

Either as you enter the loo, are sitting on the pot, are defecating or are done defecating, somewhere in there, for a second, amidst thoughts of relieving yourself, you will think about them.

2. You Are Okay With The Fact That They Also Defecate

Most of the times, we place our object of affection high on a pedestal. They are perfection personified. They are worthy of worship. They are almost superhuman to us. 

That's where everything goes wrong. For a relationshit to be balanced, you need to accept that your partner is also a human. And like all humans, your partner has a normal digestive system.

And what did we learn in grade 8 biology kids? That the final process in digestion is 'defecation' otherwise known as pooping. Or shitting. Whatever you prefer.

If you have ever thought that somewhere in the future, you will have to come to terms with that person's poop, farts or even burps, you're on the track towards 'Potty Love'.

3. Thinking About Them Pauses Your Excretory Processes

We have all been in that situation. You need to go to the loo, but can't. It's either occupied or you're on a road trip or you're on stage in the middle of a performance and don't want to pull a Fergie on the audience.

You might not know but thinking about sex can help you stop your pee. (This works with poop also.)

And obviously, if you're using fantasies of a particular someone to pause-the-poop, there's something special there. 

4. You Choose Them Over Solitary Poop-Tiem

Poop time is sacred. Not many people understand this though. 

This is the time when you are most honest with yourself. You have the ultimate hard earned 10 minute bliss of solitude that no one can take away from you.

Except of course, if you choose to willingly hand over that bliss to your object of affection by texting them while pooping.

Now why in the world would you ruin the sanctity of the crapper? You know why. Because you're in 'Potty Love'.

5. You Share Your Bathroom Wisdom With Them

I've already stressed on the importance of solitary poop-tiem. This is the time when you are alone with yourself, with no one to judge you. Your best and most crazy thoughts and ideas will strike you during poop tiem. Most of those are supposed to be kept secret from the rest of the world.

It takes an enormous amount of trust to be able to tell someone your innermost theories and plans to take over the world.

So when you start sharing your bathroom wisdom with that someone special, sorry buddy, you better accept that you're in Potty Love. 


Disclaimer: The writer has no idea what she has written and takes no responsibility for the loss of your brain cells while reading this post.

This post is dedicated to @TheTattiMaster

Being Sick

Stage 1: OMG. I'm going to get a free vacation. I sure did need a break.

Stage 2: Alright, this hurts too much. I wish I was back at work and not sick.

Stage 3: Please. Make it stop. Make the pain stop. Kill me. Give me painkillers. I need to eat. No no. If I eat I'll throw up. Oh God help.

Stage 4: These painkillers have made me drowsy. Why is there so much sadness in the world? What is the meaning of life? Why do humans kill and harm each other? No one cares about me. I need my friends. No. I don't need anyone. Oh God I wish I was dead.

Stage 5: The only physical exercise I'm doing these days is turning around in my bed. Left. Right. Left again. No, right. I feel worthless. Please someone take me out. I wish I had something to keep myself busy. Why won't anyone take me out of this house?!

Stage 6: Time to go to the creepy part of the internet with me and my thoughts. Reddit, 4chan, YouTube, here I come.

The Top Five Winter Looks

Winter is about to come and it’s time to say good-bye to all summer clothes. Pack your short shirts and loose pants and gather your leather jackets and long boots. Winter has its own charm and you can have versatile looks in this season.

-        Do not forget to wear your long boots. It can be annoying at times but once you get used to of it, you will start loving it. Long boots always look cool. It helps you look calm on one hand and on the other hand, you look formal and hot!!

-          If you want to look bold and hot apart from looking formal, go for some leather jackets. Leather jackets are something you can wear at any time. Whether it is a party at your friend’s house or an office meeting, you can look formal with a leather jacket on your shirt. Usually black leather jackets are preferred in comparison to other colors as black is something everyone dies for.
-       If you want to be a cutie pie, then yes you can, it’s not a big deal. Go for a soft pink colored jacket with a skinny jeans and a light colored muffler. People will definitely call you sweetie. Yes, a high pony tail with a fringe or an emo-cut will also look great in this look.

-      If you do not want to adopt the tradition of wearing leather jackets along with long boots then it’s great. Make your own style and follow your own trend. Yes, you can have a unique look and stand out of the crowd. Design your own jacket, go for a multi colored muffler, a cross bag and a long skirt. Opt for colors you love most and show your creativity in your look.

-    If you are brand conscious then go for branded jeans, jackets and mufflers. You can opt for a rugged collection or for some formals. If you want to look young, buy a shirt with stripes or check, a cool-looking jeans and a dark colored jacket. Yes, this will surely let you look funky and cool.

Try the above stated top five winter looks and share your views & suggestions.

I write like
Dan Brown

I Write Like by Mémoires, Mac journal software. Analyze your writing!

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