5 Signs You Are in 'Potty Love'

This blogpost will probably not make sense to you. It's okay. I urge you to still keep reading it. What have you got to lose? (Ans:10 minutes of your life and a few hundred brain cells)

Potty Love. What exactly does this term mean? Let me explain.

Potty Love is one of the levels of affection that you hold for a certain special person. It is the highest form of love I have discovered but of course, that's just me. Love is different for everyone. 

Anyways, to find out whether you are suffering from the insufferable plague of 'Potty Love', check if any of the below signs apply to you.

1. You Will Think About That One Person Every Time You Are In The Crapper

I don't know how people spend their time while pooping. I, personally, either play Candy Crush, check my emails or tweet. Multitasking y'know. But if you are in Potty Love, you will definitely think of that ONE SPECIAL person at least once while pooping.

Either as you enter the loo, are sitting on the pot, are defecating or are done defecating, somewhere in there, for a second, amidst thoughts of relieving yourself, you will think about them.


2. You Are Okay With The Fact That They Also Defecate

Most of the times, we place our object of affection high on a pedestal. They are perfection personified. They are worthy of worship. They are almost superhuman to us. 

That's where everything goes wrong. For a relationshit to be balanced, you need to accept that your partner is also a human. And like all humans, your partner has a normal digestive system.

And what did we learn in grade 8 biology kids? That the final process in digestion is 'defecation' otherwise known as pooping. Or shitting. Whatever you prefer.

If you have ever thought that somewhere in the future, you will have to come to terms with that person's poop, farts or even burps, you're on the track towards 'Potty Love'.

3. Thinking About Them Pauses Your Excretory Processes

We have all been in that situation. You need to go to the loo, but can't. It's either occupied or you're on a road trip or you're on stage in the middle of a performance and don't want to pull a Fergie on the audience.

You might not know but thinking about sex can help you stop your pee. (This works with poop also.)

And obviously, if you're using fantasies of a particular someone to pause-the-poop, there's something special there. 


4. You Choose Them Over Solitary Poop-Tiem

Poop time is sacred. Not many people understand this though. 

This is the time when you are most honest with yourself. You have the ultimate hard earned 10 minute bliss of solitude that no one can take away from you.

Except of course, if you choose to willingly hand over that bliss to your object of affection by texting them while pooping.

Now why in the world would you ruin the sanctity of the crapper? You know why. Because you're in 'Potty Love'.


5. You Share Your Bathroom Wisdom With Them

I've already stressed on the importance of solitary poop-tiem. This is the time when you are alone with yourself, with no one to judge you. Your best and most crazy thoughts and ideas will strike you during poop tiem. Most of those are supposed to be kept secret from the rest of the world.

It takes an enormous amount of trust to be able to tell someone your innermost theories and plans to take over the world.

So when you start sharing your bathroom wisdom with that someone special, sorry buddy, you better accept that you're in Potty Love. 

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Disclaimer: The writer has no idea what she has written and takes no responsibility for the loss of your brain cells while reading this post.

This post is dedicated to @TheTattiMaster