The silent spectator

The most frustrating moments in life are when you are left helpless. Not because you are weak or incapable. But because you are not at the right place, at the right time to do something about the situation which is irking you.

You want to give everything you have, everything you possess and everything you are, just to make it all okay. Because no matter what, this little dilemma bothering you will not let you sleep at night. It won't go away like all the other times you've been the silent spectator witnessing someone else's suffering. It will engulf your every second in a faint, nudging sort of ache.

You'll try to forget about it. You'll try to engage yourself in something you enjoy. You'll be completely and blissfully happy with your life. And yet, secret midnight tears will streak your pillow. Because you are helpless. And this time, the one suffering is one of your own.

Eid Moo-barak!

My favourite festival I think yes. Eid-ul-Adha.


Reasons? Food, food and FOOD.


Haha, no but really. It's awesome. The BBQs plus eidi, plus tending to the animals. 


I named my goat 'cheero' this year. Made everyone at home call it cheero. CHEERO.


RIP cheero.


Some stuff I'd like to point out today is firstly for us Muslims to remember the essence of Qurbani. The essence of sacrifice. Rejoicing with the poor, so that they have what you have all year round. Rising above our own wishes and giving them up for a higher purpose. Secondly, please please be nice to your animals. Take care of them. They are the vessels that carry your sacrifice to God, and you need to be kind to them. Not make them run all night in the streets like crazed lunatics when you know the animal will be sacrificed the next morning.


I got very interesting greetings this year, two of which I'd like to type out here:


"Wishing you and your family a very blessed eid day. May our sacrifices transcend from material to spiritual. Let us share our happiness with everyone." - Manaal Memon


and


"I saw a cow pooping. LITERALLY. I was in the car and this cow was at eye level, and I turn around to see youknowwhat coming out of it's youknowwhere. I have been scarred for life. I must scar you too now. So there. Eid Moobarak." - Huda Qadir


Two very different, very touching greetings. Ha ha.


Lastly, remember this:

"It's neither their meat nor their blood that reaches Allah, but it is piety from you that reaches Him" 22:37

-Invincible

I'm in that zone right now. The mood in which nothing can touch me, nothing matters. The contentment and the happiness is all there, independent of any external factors. I don't know how long this will last, it usually doesn't last very long. But it's wonderful. For HP junkies, it's like I've had a sip of Felix Felicis.

I know my result is about to come, and I don't care. No, I know it's going to be great. Not specifically in the sense that I get a good percentage but the fact that whatever happens, I'll get through it. I'm capable enough of making something good of myself and I know that.

This is one of the reasons I'm writing this mawkish old post, I want to remember all this, because I know when this mood passes, I'll be sh*t scared.

But atleast going through this post can remind me of my trust in God's plan. He has a plan, he'll get me there.

I'm going to stop writing and relish this moment now, thank you.

Eid Mubarak!

The only decent photograph I have of myself, well of my necklace on eid :)

Hello dear readers, Eid Mubarak! *Hugs you thrice* :D

It's mechanical to be happy on eid, even when I really have a lot to be sad about. But Eid is about giving thanks unto Allah and rejoicing for what we have, and not we desire. :)

I'm sad about the people who have lost literally everything here in Pakistan, and yet their hope amazes me. The strength of the Pakistani people never fails to astound me. We get through everything. Everything.

I'm sad about those misguided people who are doing this thing. The whole Burn the Quran day and all. To them: Whatever. Seriously. Honestly. As long as the Quran is safe in our hearts and as long as true believers keep following what is in it, noone can hurt the spirit. I'm just sad about these people. What would it be like living inside their hate filled heads? *shudders*

Let me elucidate on one point that I keep stressing all the time. What I feel for these people is restricted to ONLY the people involved in this shameful act. I'm not naming any country or religion. And since no human should resort to such levels of hatred, I condemn anyone who would take part in such a hurtful act whether they be of any creed, colour or religion.

Ah, serious hogaya.

Hmm, so getting back to eid. As my friend Anusha said in a text:

Today is about two things:

1. Looking pretty and
2. EIDI!!!

So yeah, Eidi, Sheer Khurma, new clothes, FOOD and lots of love!

Eid Mubarak once more all you lovely people! :)
____________________


P.S. Happy Happy Birthday my sweet unbiological sister Monazzaaahhh!! Love you forever xoxo

Ugly Duckling

This isn't mine, I read it somewhere on the internet.

___________________________________________

Growing up, you read the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was me. For so long you taught me I was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard.

I couldn't run as fast or lift as much. I didn't make the same money and I cried too often. I grew up in a man's world where I didn't belong.

And when I couldn't be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your make-up and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master. And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.

I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object but you swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on display, to attract and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling.

But you lied.

Islam tells me I'm a swan. I'm different - it's meant to be that way. And my body, my soul, was created for something more.

Allah says in the Quran: "O mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another (not that you may despise each other). Verily, the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is the one who is most righteous." (49:13)

So I am honoured. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or by the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale : a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life, despite what the fashion magazines say, is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

And so Allah tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty and to tell the world that I'm not here to please men with my body; I'm here to please Allah. Allah elevates the dignity of a woman's body by commanding that it be respected and covered, shown only to the deserving - only to the man I marry.

So those who wish to 'liberate' me, I have only one thing to say:
Thanks, but no thanks.

I'm not here to be on display. And my body is not for public consumption. I will not be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. I'm a soul, a mind, a servant of Allah. My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character. So, I won't worship your beauty standards, and I don't submit to your fashion sense. My submission is to something higher.

With my veil, I put my faith on display - rather than my beauty. My value as a human is defined by my relationship with Allah, not by my looks. So I cover the irrelevant. And when you look at me, you don't see a body. You view me only for what I am : a servant of my Creator.

So you see, as a Muslim woman, I've been liberated from a silent kind of bondage. I don't answer to the slaves of Allah on earth. I answer to their King.

Sunrise

It's a tiring yet wonderful journey to college each day, as I get some time to reflect on my thoughts, quietly taking inspiration from my surroundings. The sky is different everyday, and the most beautiful are the winter days, when I see the sun rise with all its glory into the clear horizon over looking the phase VII grounds.

The Sun

Most people find the moon romantic. With me, I choose the other celestial body. The shiniest, brightest star known to man. Its existance breathes life into everything. Warm, comforting, strong and awesome. The sun.

It makes my insides turn to jelly, honestly. How did God create such magnificance? And I can't begin to encompass how utterly magnificant God Himself is.

Point to the post: Look around you. Look more closely at the things you ignore every day. Cloud patterns, leaf veins, your own heartbeat. You'll feel the magic, I promise. And if you don't, meh, you're probably retarded. Or like Munazza.

(Apologies Mani)

;)